|
Dr. Slembieda was good enough to share some of his logic with me the past few nights of which I was most grateful. First and foremost of his lessons was that of quiet shame.
Shame:
A. A painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace.
Capacity for such a feeling: Have you no shame?
B. One that brings dishonor, disgrace, or condemnation.
C. A condition of disgrace or dishonor; ignominy.
D. A great disappointment.
According to Dr. Slembieda people react diffrently according to the level by which they feel this emotion and by the enviroment in which they grow into. For example in Japan minor slights and mistakes can be regarded with great Shame due to the cultures rigid view of rules. However what might pass for a shameful act there might be concidered a minor foot note in Brazil where rules have less meaning for a culture that has become otherwise diluted with various other political bodies.
Depending on the severity of the disgrace which induces shame the self imposed punishment might range from depression to self mutilation. Of course many factors must be concidered into the event which caused the shaming and the mind of the shamed individual. Since every culture has dealt with the emotion of shame in diffrent ways it can be assumed the shamed individual will act accordingly. However this is not always the case or, in the case of the United States, which experiences a cultural conflict, one must observe the families or those closely associated with the individual to aquire the possible result of the emotional shame. Even then, however, it is difficult to say with certainly an individual might do.
Dr. Slembieda has dipped into this subject a few times though he finds it vastely to distaintful at times to study it to much. Its self loathing nature makes it vastely to morbid and thus unsatisfactory at the end of the day. As he put it -
"Those who harbor an unhealthy obsession with shame find themselves morbidly occupied with their own failures"
On a side note the curiousity of shame being that the only forgiveness acceptable to an individual who places shame on themselves is their own forgiveness which can sometimes be harder to attain then the forgiveness of others. A fasinating thing all together.
My discussion with Dr. Slembieda was cut short however though I look forward to speaking to him again. |
|
|
Jan. 29th, 2005 @ 11:45 am
|
|---|
|
F i r s t s
First best friend: Brice, 4 years old. Watched my first sci fi movie at his house while his mother baby sat me.
First car: Dodge Neon "The Exicutor"
First kiss on the lips: None have felt the lips of Nakano!
First real kiss: None have felt of lips of Nakano!
First break-up: None have had the honor of dating Nakano!..that he will admit to.
First screen name: Deathmaster Snitch
First self purchased album: "Star Wars: A New Hope Soundtrack" John Williams
First funeral: Great Grandfather Acres
First pets: Nana, Ashes and Patches
First true love: Myself.
First enemy: Adrion Chang, was later hit by a car. Glory to Nakano.
First big trip: Germany to Texas, age 3 months.
First music you remember hearing in your house: Probably something by Jon Bon Jovi. My mother loves that guy.
L a s t s
Last car ride: Yesterday, from Shaker Valley R.V. to my parents house.
Last kiss: I believe I kissed my mother on the cheek last Saturday.
Last good cry: Quite some time ago I wager.
Last movie seen: "Aresnic and Old Lace"
Last beverage drank: Hawiian Punch. Ouch, feel the power.
Last food consumed: New York Rye with butter.
Crush: To go unnamed.
Last time showered: Twenty minutes ago.
Last shoes worn: Black generic leather shoes.
Last item bought: A cashiers check.
R e l a t i o n s h i p s
Who are your very best friends? Kevin, Sean, Jessica, Doyle, Katie, Adam, Jeremy, Woodie etc etc. You know who you are.
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Nein.
S u p e r f i c i a l | S t u f f
Where is your favorite place to shop? Army Surplus Store.
Any tattoos or piercings? Nein.
S p e c i f i c s
Do you do drugs?: Thats a bit probing don't you think? Never say never.
What kind of shampoo do you use?: Recently, Herbal Solutions.
What are you most scared of?: Breaking down.
What are you listening to right now?: The T.V.
Where do you want to get married?: Nakanocropolis.
How many buddies are online right now?: 25 of 178.
What would you change about yourself? Get into better shape then I ever was before.
F a v o r i t e s
Color: Red
Food: Steak
Boys' names: Kael, Drako, Dakkon, Greives.
Girls' names: Cindy, Michelle, Diana, Sasha.
Subjects in school: Culinary and Business Management while I was in school.
Animals: Sharks
Sports: Football
Perfume: None.
H a v e | Y o u | E v e r
Taken a bath with someone? Disturbing. No.
Skinny dipped?: Foul. No.
Been in love?: Decpetive. Yes.
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: Weak. No.
Pictured a crush naked?: Perhaps.
Actually seen a crush naked? No.
Cried when someone died?: Yes.
Lied?: Yes.
Fallen for your best friend?: No.
Been rejected?: Yes
Rejected someone?: Yes
Used someone?: Yes
Done something you regret?: Yes, but its a fleeting feeling.
C u r r e n t
Clothes: Black jeans, while shirt.
Music: None
Annoyance: ADT commerical. SO STUPID.
Smell: Toast!
Favorite Artist: Depends. You will have to be more specific, thank you, call again.
Desktop picture: Basic Windows XP background.
L a s t | P e r s o n
Hugged: Against my will? Jessica.
You IMed: Andrew T. Skocik
W h o | D o | Y o u | W a n n a
Kill: 70 percent of the population I deem unworthy.
Slap: Anyone really.
Look Like: I could use a nice set of Dr. Doom armour.
Talk to Online: Kevin, its been a long time.
W h i c h | I s | B e t t e r
Coke or Pepsi: Barqs Rootbeer.
Flowers or Candy: Flowers.
Tall or Short: Tall
Thick or Thin: er..how so?
Long or Short: See above answer.
R a n d o m
in the morning i am: Getting ready for work.
all i need is: Rest and relaxation. Money too.
what do you notice on a person first: Eyes.
last person you danced with: n/a
worst question to ask to a crying person: You ok? <-- It's true.-- agreed again
who makes you laugh the most: Juan, because I live with him and we have a lot of inside jokes, and Brooklyn for the same reason except he used to live with us.
who makes you smile? Karen
who gives you a funny feeling when you see them: No one
who do you have a crush on: Karen's boobs
who has a crush on you? No one I'm aware of
D o | Y o u | E v e r
sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone to IM you? Once or twice.
wait to see if i don't IM someone first if they will IM me? Usually only if I am fighting with someone.
wish you were a member of the opposite sex: HA. Never.
wish you were younger: Nope.
N u m b e r
of relationships: 2
of times i have had my heart broken: You need one first.
of hearts i have broken: Unknown.
of guys i've kissed: None
of girls i've kissed: 2
of tight friends: A few.
of cds i own: 5 |
|
While listening to the Imperial March I suddenly was hit by that which was numb to me yesterday. Rage. But not uncontrollable, not openly, a calculating, ticking cold rage that wanted nothing more in the world then to destroy something easily broken like a bird or a glass. But then I remembered the plant back at the appartment and that was oddly depressing. Well not depressing, it pulled me away from the rage so quickly it was like getting depressed but it was more less extremely calming for some reason. The plant, its just..*shrug*..its just a plant.
Strange indeed that it would muddle some a violent rage.
Who is confused at the moment.
Nakano is. |
| » Condolences |
|---|
Doyle has been a good friend of mine in the past and present. A best friend, the type you always know will be around, always be interested in hearing what you have to say, or atleast pretend to. Always slam up against your windows to get your attention or drag you away from some boring chore to have fun only to get in trouble. When I moved to Dayton it was the Doyle family that I first knew and they are good people despite their quirks.
Katie I have only met recently however I heard Doyle rave about her prior to the two of them hooking up. She is a good person and I believe is dedicated to Doyle as he is to her. She keeps Doyle in line, quite a task indeed. And though I have only known her for a few months she has become a welcome addition to my group of friends.
They have had a loss. A terrible loss. My brain is riddled with things I want to say but I have nothing. No words to express or equal what they must feel. No word or action within my power that I can see rectifying anything. I am helpless before my dear friends.
I am sorry for that.
Be well Katie and Doyle.
Much love.
Nickolas James Attmore Nakano
Jan. 12th, 2005 @ 12:47 pm
|
| » To Ben, With Love. |
|---|
Asshat? Come now, if you want to hurt my ego you'll have to do better then that. However this is the first time I believe I have had a full live journal post pointed at me. I feel special, kinda warm all over. I can only associate the sensation when we were all high on super pot and Jesse got on her hands and knees at screamed that you were nothing, a nobody who was but a child who knew nothing about the world. mmmmm sends chills up my spine.
Who is a guy who accepts the sad but realistic world around him?
Nakano is.
I sit on my throne above say...mmm...Ben for many good reasons, most of which being I am simply better. True enough. Arguments not accepted, kinda the same way the government does not accept arguments toward reverting into a monarchy. Its just absurd to think otherwise. Your a failure in many aspects Ben, we all are aware. You succeed sometimes, true enough, you are due your respects but honestly..truefully you embrace only things you can brag to those around you about. Either it is to desperately cling onto those friends you have or to try and impress.
and as your not really due a full post, sorry, try harder.
I got up today and headed into town. Shitty weather but when your on the beach its not so bad. Finished moving into today actually, internet, phone and cable. a nice little trio to finish things out however unfortunately the cable TV needs to be looked at. Trap was activated.
Hopefully I will be working at Shaker Valley R.V. for 12 bucks an hour. Its a warehouse that sells to retailers. Its honest work and pays well so I will not look to pass this one up.
Remember to Vote tomorrow. Doesn't really matter who because its your right to decide who you back just make sure you vote. Thats all that matters.
Who is done with this post?
Nakano is.
Nov. 1st, 2004 @ 08:22 pm
|
| » In the Spirit of Political Mudslinging.... |
|---|
The worlds a stage and its poorly acted. I honestly think thats a good quote. Way to many drama queens and kings out there.
I grow tired of a certain girls ignorant attacks on those she claims to have once loved. I grow tired of a certain peon's ever present prattling. I swear its like watching Jesse the Hutt and Salacious Ben tending their court of undesirables.
Hohoho..Beloved fallen angel of the stars, how sad it does make me to see you not following the path I have laid out before you, the one that will lead you to misery and suffering which, in eachothers arms we will declare WE ARE NOT AFRAID.
WEeeeeeeYAYahahaha! Love me?
Hohoho..No Salacious Ben..not until you slay all those you love to my insane causes!
Weeeeeeyayahahahaha! As you request is shall be done!
Yeck. Its not really that bad but you get the picture.
Anyway. Kinda petty huh? Sure is. So hopefully when they council each other about this they can go "Wow that was very petty, how can he say such things about us? Huh HUH!? WE DID NOTHING WRONG! HUH HUH!?" Then reply and I can read it and try to remember why selective genocide is a bad thing.
Who is a defender of is selected friends?
Nakano is.
Nov. 1st, 2004 @ 12:26 pm
|
| » mm |
|---|
A WHITE Dragon Lies Beneath!
My inner dragon is one of two harmonious dragons (the other is Black). On the inside I am the perfect example of balance, patience, power, and reclusive intelligence. Evil-doers beware; my breath weapon is a combination of fire and lightning. Even the nicest dragons can do some serious damage. Click the image to try the Inner Dragon Online Quiz for yourself.
So..White is it? Civilized to say the least.
Who is the White Dragon?
Nakano Is.
Who is the evil that hides in the light?
Nakano Is.
Nov. 1st, 2004 @ 12:21 pm
|
| » From the Wayfarer Inn |
|---|
As no doubt people have read from Seans journal we are staying at the Wayfarer, or rather I am as Sean went back up to Portland for comedy tonight. Things have been decent as of late though it would appear that the climate of the winter is causing people to put on their winter personalities. We all know we change, and of course, that is the way of things. Tis not always bad, tis not always good but it is something.
Who is going to sit in a hot tub for alittle while?
Nakano is.
Oh and on a side note, hopefully will be seeing Jessica in a few weeks. Sean has been hit hard by her not being here. I would be lying to say I wasn't but far far to many people bleed out their emotions and I am not going to start now.
Who is hoping Jessica has a good trip?
Nakano is.
Oct. 29th, 2004 @ 08:35 pm
|
| » Memoirs of the Hell Summer |
|---|
My time at the Blue Star Grille has come to an end finally. My seasonal enslavement took a heavy toll on my mind and body but thankfully I have a full winter to try and recover. Naturally I will take advantage after all I need to reach some new middle ground of existance again or I am just going to go insane. However here are a few memories from this summers hell.
Getting burnt by Brei with scalding hot tongs.
Avoiding the 280 dinner night.(Nakano dodges the bullet!)
Seeing 23 orders for grill on the board and only having 7 items working.
Dr. Doom being tortured by my co-workers.
Going to war every day with a spatula, pair of tongs and a whole station full of meat.
Humming the Imperial March whenever it started getting really busy as to boost my moral.
Breaking boxes during the slow time to appear that I was doing some kind of work.
Falling in the basement and screwing up my knee.
Watching Jessica fall over and over again.
Seeing two sides of coleslaw go out with metal in them.(Oh the poor fry girl. She felt the wrath of Bryan.)
Gaming with my boss. And all of the..strange comings and goings at that affair.
Forcing Jen to make us strawberry drinks.
Yelling at Jen to close so we could get some rest.
Yelling at servers to pick up food and to generally annoy them.
Watching Brei and Phil fight on the line.
Punkinfiddle Day of Eternal Suffering.
Worlds Worst Hangover Day at work. DAMN YOU POLOCKS!
Getting drunk for the first time with the polocks on vodka.
Getting to know Tomeck aka the Tomeckanator, Polish Terminator.
Seeing Paula, Kuba and Simon.
Queen Vals ancient Jamacian Wisdom.
Chuck slowly going insane and losing his hair.
Captain Nicks slow decline into absolute death.
Working as a bouncer for Captain Nicks late night parties.
Watching Jessica make Salads "In the Zone" while flinging rubber bands at her.(I swear I am not a bully)
Making salads while having food flung at me. (Turn about is fair play.)
Towel whipping contests.(Sounds like a horrible fetish.)
Nights of utter hell.
Thinking Bryan quit and the horrible sinking feeilng that entailed.
Generally getting my ass handed to me 6 our of 7 nights a week.
Thats about all. Experience is good, it is, after all, the greatest of teachers. Culinary is a difficult business to be in, it requires stamina, skill and a level head. When you get hit with something big you have to put your head down and charge through it. Its a war every night and you have no choice but to win it.
The fires of the grill were my home this year. Where once The Fury stood now there is only..The Glory.
Who is the Glory?
Nakano is.
Who is tired?
Nakano is.
Who is the final victor?
Nakano is.
Oct. 14th, 2004 @ 10:04 am
|
| » Doom |
|---|
Oct. 14th, 2004 @ 10:03 am
|
| » WAR |
|---|
Sep. 9th, 2004 @ 12:54 am
|
| » Why Evil Works. |
|---|
Watched HERO today.
Awesome movie. Proves Tyranny is the true way. Also black and gold silks do look good on a man if properly garbed.
Anyway..Who is the paramount of Evil?
Nakano is.
Sep. 5th, 2004 @ 02:41 am
|
| » Holy Mary, Morther of God. |
|---|
Work, however this week I get three days off. Sweet day in the morning.
Jessica beleives she will gain some form of retribution. Perhaps, PERHAPS here at the appartment she will gain some sort of satisfaction..however in the kitchen, on my grounds, she will attempt but be revisisted upon.
Pencils, while good because you can erase mistakes, are easily broken.
Pens, while not quite as easy to break can not be erased.
Such is life? Pens and Pencils.
Absurd musings? I think so!
Who is master of miscommunication..ality..ness..ness.
NAKANO IS.
Sep. 1st, 2004 @ 02:18 pm
|
| » Cigars |
|---|
I like to smoke cigars.
Who is the new god?
Nakano is.
Aug. 23rd, 2004 @ 04:20 am
|
| » Doom and other evil things. |
|---|
Random train of thought.
What I want to do is get a recording of all our convserations when we are high or drunk and then have records of all the conversations in this appartment. I mean some of them are quite interesting.
Proctor....proctor....proctor....fine don't come over here lay on your fat ass.
We left the sour cream out last night. Think it went bad.
I left it out.
...do you think its bad?
....
Oh well. People need to do their dishes. I mean my dishes are done but..the other dishes are piling up.
I spray it with lysol.
What!?
..yeah..
We should do something today.
Hello Sidney....heeeeeelloooo.
I know she has something in her mouth...its the entire bag of bread...she did not take into account the weight and moving her head would keep her head moving..oh..its slowing down...OFOWWWWWWWWWW! She fell on her face...dumbest thing ever..then she tromped off..didn't eat it.
ow..owwww. Toes aren't for clawing.
Nothing like ass on your foot. Nothing like ass in your face! Remember that?
You had kitty ass in face! It was hilarious!
boooooooooom
alkjsd;lfjkal;sdlf;jk
dk
d
ok everything is ok...can I type part of this conversation since your not?
well that doe..wh...that doesn't..nick...Damnit...
This is the nastiest carpet I have ever seen.
Its like fake astroturf at the moment.
Its ilke FAKE Astroturf?
If the astro turf ever went stail..it would look like our carpet.
No it wouldn't.
Yes it would dumb ass.
No it wouldn't.
Its DRAMA...PASTA..and VIETNAM...
So you can say it correct?
DAMN IT.
Short e.
No but Nick and I enjoy it.
The end.
WAR IN.
NAKANO IS.
Aug. 9th, 2004 @ 11:52 am
|
| » Debolanche |
|---|
Debolanche: A debacle so bad it spawns an avalanche.
Why use this word? Because it is one of the brave new words I shall be investing into the world when I command the power to reshape language.
I have today off, joy for me. Work to be done, things to be looked after but most important will be getting some rest and relaxation. Whats the point of having a day off if you do not capitalize on it?
Who is the knower of things he knows of?
Nakano is.
Aug. 6th, 2004 @ 12:29 pm
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
cultoftheego's journal
